She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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