Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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