yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
