Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
