I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
