I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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