What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
