I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
