I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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