Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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