he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
