Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
