You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
