No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
