Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
