The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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