Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
