all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
