you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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