I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
