All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
