his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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