what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
