they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
