i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
