i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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