Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
