Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
