capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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