The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
