It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
