last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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