Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
