it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
