his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
