cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
