I'm eating all of the evidence.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
