i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I need a burrito and a hug.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
