Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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