guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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