It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
