Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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