Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
