I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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