I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My cat gives me a boner
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
