I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
