You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
