Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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