So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
