She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am available for nakedness
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