I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
